The UKIP Policy Shop Sketch (with apologies to Monty Python)


Exposing UKIP


Customer (John Cleese): Good Morning.

Shopkeeper (Michael Palin): Good morning, Sir. Welcome to the UKIP Policy Emporium!

C: Thank you my good man.

S: What can I do for you, sir?

C: Well, I was sitting in the public library on Thurman Street just now, skimming through ‘Rogue Herries’ by Hugh Walpole, and I suddenly came over all reflective.

S: Reflective, sir?

C: Studient.

S: Eh?

C: Ee, I were all thoughtful-like!

S: Ah, thoughtful!

C: In a nutshell. And I thought to myself, ‘I wonder what all this palaver about UKIP is’, so, I curtailed my Walpoling activites, sallied forth, and infiltrated your place of purveyance to negotiate the vending of some political documentation!

S: Come again?

C: I want to see UKIP’s policies.

S: Oh, I thought you were complaining about the morris dancers!

C: Oh, heaven forbid: I am one who delights in all manifestations of the…

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