Lots of people of my age, and younger, have been baptised. Some were baptised because of the religious convictions of the parents, others because it’s one of those “Family Tradition” things that people do without really understanding why.
I was baptised, and now I’m an Atheist! The two aren’t connected. I know some Atheists are going through the “De-Baptism” thing where they get a certificate to say they relinquish their Baptism, but I’m not going to do that.
Some people will tell you that the 1960’s were all about Free Love and Liberation, but that’s bullshit! I was born in 1966, only a few weeks before the England football team won the FIFA world cup for the only time (because the England football team are more like a second eleven these days) to a Single Mother. My Mother wanted me to be Baptised, as was “Traditional” at the time, and approached the local church vicar. He refused (Possibly with the words “Get thee to a Nunnery, thou Harlot Jezebel!”), as did the other local vicars (Christian Forgiveness? My Arse!). So it may have ended but for a chance remark made by my Uncle to a work colleague, who suggested he try asking the Vicar at Waltham Abbey Church in Essex, who was actually quite progressive. So it happened that I was eventually Baptised, but not in my own parish, and not even in my home Diocese.

Fast forward. I have by now realised that there is no God, there is only “Human Behaviour”, and much of it is bad (Greed, Corruption, Cruelty etc.), and so declare myself “Without God”. But what do I do about my baptism? It took a lot of effort, and a HELL of a lot of Good Will to even get me to the font (where, it seems, I pulled off the Vicars glasses and slapped him in the face), so to simply say “It was all meaningless!” would have been most ungrateful to my uncle, his workmate, the vicar, and everyone else involved. BUT I found a Get Out! Waltham Abbey church is actually where an Abbey was created in the mid 11th century by a man named Harold Godwinson (who went on to become Harold II, the last Saxon King of England and was killed at the Battle of Hastings in 1066), and he’s also BURIED in the grounds of the church. Therefore I managed to rationalise superstition with brazen Nationalism and have since declared that I was NOT Baptised as a C of E Christian, but as a Secular Englishman, consecrated by the remains of Harold II!

I just thought I’d share that with you…..


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